sororlihf

]

Date: Friday, September 14, 2007 e.v. an CIV Temp: 67.5F
Sun: 21°46' Virgo
Moon: 29°49' Libra

Time: 6:53pm
Operation:

invocation of ra-hoor-kuit

State of mind Before:

nothing really special going on in my head tonight, which is kind of strange, Considering

State of mind During:

tonight, this just poured out of me in a flow. real strong performance all around.

State of mind After:

FUCK YEAH

Observations

the opening of the circle and the invocation itself are starting to etch their way into my long term memory. it shouldn’t be long now before i don’t need the paper for the opening.

Conclusions:

the amount of power that this ritual is producing in my temple is getting ridiculous. it’s crazy enough doing two or three a week at the lodge – here, the energy is more specific and concentrated.

notes:

sunrise: 6:59am
sunset: 7:30pm
moonphase: waxing crescent

Thursday, September 13th 2007 e.v. an CIV

[Sep. 13th, 2007|10:25 pm]

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Current Location

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Date: Thursday, September 13, 2007 e.v. an CIV Temp:62.6F
Sun: 20°53' Virgo
Moon: 19°11' Libra

Time: 9:53pm
Operation:

Invocation of ra-hoor-kuit

State of mind Before:

Butterflies. I’ve no idea what’s going on in my life right now, and I’m a mass of nerves. I’m also pretty stoned, and I ended up falling asleep in the tub earlier.

State of mind During:

Excellent banishing tonight, very good concentration throughout. Quite the turnaround from beforehand. For some reason I forgot to consecrate the instruments.

State of mind After:

Good performance – feelings of extreme power and might.

Observations

Even when I’m starting slow and don’t feel quite right, once I get in there and get rolling I seem to be fine.

Conclusions:

There’s some kind of “momentum” effect going on here.

notes:

sunrise: 6:58am
sunset: 7:32pm
moonphase: waxing crescent

monday, september 10th 2007 e.v. an CIV

(no subject)	[Sep. 11th, 2007\|09:11 am]
Sun: 18°26' Virgo Moon: 18°35' Virgo very, very strange order-related dreams. a big hall with thanatos running some kind of huge public ritual, then another time through with me as lodgemaster running it. something about "when you have built the tent aright your sandals will be waiting for you inside." lots of spectators/participants. feast atmosphere.
link	post comment

[Sep. 10th, 2007|08:13 pm]

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Current Location

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Date: Monday, September 10, 2007 e.v. an CIV Temp: 73.2F
Sun: 17°52' Virgo
Moon: 11°33' Virgo

Time: 7:38pm
Operation: invocation of ra-hoor-kuit

State of mind Before:

i was a little weird feeling before i went into the temple tonight. people playin’ games wit’ me...

State of mind During:

i had neglected to bring a copy of the Book of the Law into the temple with me, so i experimented with a technique of getting in and out of a sealed temple. it seemed to work. good concentration once i got past the banishing. the energy was really kicking in there tonight.

State of mind After:

this was a good performace – up there with the best ones so far.

Observations

lots of heat, feelings of extreme power. the intensity hasn’t dropped off here at all since i started experimenting with my voice last week

Conclusions:

keep working with the new voice

notes:

sunrise: 6:55am
sunset: 7:37pm
moonphase: new

Saturday, September 8th 2007 e.v. an CIV

[Sep. 8th, 2007|09:09 pm]

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Current Location

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Date: Saturday, September 08, 2007 e.v. an CIV Temp: 76.7F
Sun: 16°00' Virgo
Moon: 17°13' Leo

Time: 8:35pm
Operation: reguli

State of mind Before:

a little tired, very hot

State of mind During:

worst concentration all week. very hot in the temple – lots of sweat just pouring down my face.

State of mind After:

poor result tonight. it wasn’t totally missing, i have a bit of the “reguli feeling,” but it’s not like it’s been over the past few weeks

Observations

when it’s hot in there it gets me thinking about cleaning myself up, which gets me thinking of whom i’m off to see that i want to look good for

Conclusions:

find a way to cool the temple for next summer.

notes:

sunrise: 6:53am
sunset: 7:40pm
moonphase: waning crescent

Thursday, September 6th 2007 e.v. an CIV

[Sep. 6th, 2007|11:22 pm]

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Current Location

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Date: Thursday, September 06, 2007 e.v. an CIV Temp: 77.5F
Sun: 14°09' Virgo
Moon: 22°30' Cancer

Time: 10:44pm
Operation: juggernaut w/ liberty and kep-ra-thoth,

State of mind Before:

Weird, stoned, full of force and madness and power. There’s rough energy around on account of (I believe) Horrificus and liberty are have some Issues, but I’m just blasting through and over it. I feel like I’ve just invoked

State of mind During:

It was all I could do to remain in silence and try to blend my energy with liberty leading. It really did feel like she wasn’t there with us At All. Since I’ve been trying for more intensity with a slight drop in volume with the Voice my power in the circle seems to have gone up a whole order of magnitude.

State of mind After:

It felt like we’d succeeded in the end, despite all the confused, angry energy

Observations

I need to watch my shit Real Close when liberty’s like that. It’s easy to get sucked in and it’s easy for the ritual to go awry. Keep your eyes open, kiddo

Conclusions:

I didn’t much like the performance of the ritual. I see the point of it and I think I just need to work on it again with a different leader

notes:

sunrise: 6:51pm
sunset: 7:44pm
moonphase: waning crescent

Thursday, September 6th 2007 e.v. an CIV

[Sep. 6th, 2007|01:05 am]

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Current Location

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Date: Thursday, September 6, 2007 e.v. an CIV Temp: 70.7F
Sun: 13°15' Virgo
Moon: 10°05' Cancer

Time: 12:30am
Operation: invocation of ra-hoor-kuit

State of mind Before:

Very relaxed, kind of stoned.

State of mind During:

I came in tonight to do this so in case I blew it I’d be able to come back and go again tomorrow as opposed to having an uneffective day. This was the day where I tried doing the invocation in a magical voice that doesn’t rattle the effing windows. It was pretty heavy tonight – strong stuff in there

State of mind After:

Good results. The feelings of power and strength are still lingering

Observations

Well, I get good results with ra-hoor-kuit magick when I’m stoned but then again I would, wouldn’t i… next thing to try here tomorrow is the same thing sober at home and then sober here.

Conclusions:

Pending and shit.

notes:

sunrise: 6:51am
sunset: 7:44pm
moonphase: waning crescent

tuesday, sept. 4th 2007 e.v. an CIV

Wednesday, Sept. 5th 2007 e.v. an CIV	[Sep. 5th, 2007\|08:54 pm]
Date: Thursday, September 5, 2007 e.v. an CIV Temp: 78.9F Sun: 13°04' Virgo Moon: 7°40' Cancer Time: 8:25 Operation: adoration to nuit State of mind Before: tired, distracted. i would have done more but i just wasn’t feeling it tonight for some reason. it seemed somehow Correct that i just do the adoration. State of mind During: concentration good once banish complete State of mind After: much cleaner but still really fucking irritated. Observations nothing new tonight Conclusions: nothing new tonight notes: sunrise: 6:50am sunset: 7:45pm moonphase: waning crescent
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[Sep. 4th, 2007|07:18 pm]

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Current Location

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Date: Tuesday, September 04, 2007 e.v. an CIV Temp: 85.4F
Sun: 12°02' Virgo
Moon: 23°06' Gemini

Time: 6:45pm
Operation: reguli

State of mind Before:

odd. nicotine fits. zeus on my mind. rob on my mind.

State of mind During:

i was distracted right through the first gesture, which i fucked up. i got ahold of myself after that and things went fine from that point on

State of mind After:

even with the error, this was pretty damn good. i’m still feeling it just sitting here – i’m ready to Go!

Observations

the work with jugorum seems to be increasing my available power, and what i learned watching zeus in the temple the other night is helping out, too

Conclusions:

just keep ploughing ahead as best as you can at this point.

notes:

jugorum – ten full days of the discipline left. one cut on saturday, one full cut and a nick for sunday, four effing cuts on monday and one today bringing it up to seven full and one nick. the nick was for the single drag i took sunday afternoon. this is going way better than i thought it might. by the end of the period i should have nicotine completely Under Will and i should be able to enjoy a cigarette now and again without addiction.

sunrise: 6:49pm
sunset: 7:47pm
moonphase: last quarter

Saturday, sept 1st 2007 e.v. AN civ

Sunday, September 2nd 2007 e.v. an CIV	[Sep. 2nd, 2007\|09:33 pm]
Date: Sept 2nd 2007 e.v. an CIV temp: Sun: Virgo Moon: v/c Time: 8:45pm Operation: queen wand State of mind Before: I originally wasn’t going to go up at all, especially after the last two times today ended in failure to even begin. However, I went and did it anyway State of mind During: It was ALL fucked up in there for a number of reasons. People didn’t know where to be, I couldn’t get the damn book passed to me… and for some reason I thought there were five effing Sorors in there as opposed to just the four of us. I also think that I shouldn’t have listened to serenity re: the incense State of mind After: I still feel like I haven’t done this ritual Observations People got Confused Conclusions: It’s probably best for me at this point to concentrate on working w/the people I’m used to work with notes: sunrise: sunset: moonphase:
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Sunday September 2nd 200 e.v. an CIV	[Sep. 2nd, 2007\|12:52 am]
Date: Sunday, September 02, 2007 e.v. an CIV Temp: 62.4F Sun: 9°22' Virgo Moon: 14°00' Taurus Time: 12:25am Operation: queen wand State of mind Before: All effing weird. I just did a COP and there are Other Considerations as well. A VERY odd night where I had to dance a strange line between silence and daring speech. I’m still not used to the craziness involved. Shit just keeps hitting me from one side to the other State of mind During: This was just all skew-wise tonigh. For the large part, the ritual itself ran fairly smoothly except at the very beginning of the invocation where Cheth for some reason felt he had to physically touch me to signal the beginning of the invocation. I really don’t like his vibe in the temple. State of mind After: I feel like I still haven’t done this ritual Observations I don’t like cheth’s vibe in the temple Conclusions: I should avoid working with him notes: sunrise: 6:47am sunset: 7:50pm moonphase: waning gibbous
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[Sep. 1st, 2007|11:51 pm]

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Current Location

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Date: Saturday Sept. 1st 2007 e.v. an CIV Temp: fucking hot
Sun: Virgo
Moon: Taurus

Time: 11:32pm
Operation: 11:57pm

State of mind Before:

This was a weird fucking night. Cheth tried to insult me, either that or just fucked up so badly that it made no difference, but it really didn’t work. Beyond that, the evening with rex? Oh geeez…

State of mind During:

Once I had my shit together I was okay, but I never really got my shit together until the middle of the invocation. I also fucked the oath all up.

State of mind After:

Even with the difficulties, it was still a reasonably good performance.

Observations

Number 10 in the lodge!

Conclusions:

Just keep plugging away. You already know things aren’t going to get any easier, so don’t worry when they get harder

notes:

jugorum started today. one cut necessary

sunrise:
sunset:
moonphase: waning gibbous

Friday, August 31st 2007 e.v. an CIV

[Sep. 1st, 2007|12:01 am]

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Current Location

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Date: Friday, August 31, 2007 e.v. an CIV Temp: 63.4F
Sun: 8°22' Virgo
Moon: 28°58' Aries

Time: 11:25pm
Operation: invocation of ra-hoor-kuit

State of mind Before:

Out of sorts. I’m still in pain from my accident and compounding matters is the presence of someone who currently distracts me mightily. Gotta work on that.

State of mind During:

I was distracted up through the end of the banishing, and then I was in the “no thoughts become chains” place that I was in earlier today. Things picked up during the invocation and by the time (I think) I had the sword in my hand I was On The Case.

State of mind After:

Still very intense, but not as powerful as last night. Of course, I only did the one

Observations

I’m really getting there in terms of my strength in the lodge as compared to my strength at home.

Conclusions:

Keep working here, do more group work during the week. That seems to keep you going like few other things do.

notes:

sunrise: 6:45am
sunset: 7:53pm
moonphase: waning gibbous

Friday, August 31st 2007 e.v. an CIV

[Aug. 31st, 2007|08:49 pm]

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Current Location

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Date: Friday, August 31, 2007 e.v. an CIV Temp: 70.2F
Sun: 8°14' Virgo
Moon: 26°59' Aries

Time: 8:15pm
Operation: reguli

State of mind Before:

in pain from my accident and also very hungry

State of mind During:

nothing new and spectacular to report tonight

State of mind After:

as yesterday but with lesser degree

Observations

pain sucks. what’s different about my concentration of late is that the thoughts aren’t becoming Chains

Conclusions:

keep working!

notes:

sunrise: 6:45am
sunset: 7:53pm
moonphase: waning gibbousa

Thursday, August 30th 2007 e.v. an CIV

[Aug. 30th, 2007|11:15 pm]

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Current Location

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Date: Thursday, August 30th 2007 e.v. an CIV Temp: 70.5F
Sun: 7°22' Virgo
Moon: 13°51' Aries

Time: 10:26pm
Operation: invocation of ra-hoor-kuit x2

State of mind Before:

Kind of stoned, honestly, but for this particular application that’s all to the good. I was excited to do it twice tonight, too

State of mind During:

This was just a great performance all around. Once I got into the invocation my concentration was as good as it’s ever been, even at home, and the second time through – although I did stumble in the guardian oath – it was even Stronger.

State of mind After:

Like I could totally kick godzilla’s ass.

Observations

As last time I worked here, my performance is improving. So no change on account of the change is still occurring. Kind of.

Conclusions:

Two in a row leaves me pretty much shot in terms of taking anything too seriously. I guess that’ll diminish with time

notes:

sunrise: 6:44am
sunset: 7:55pm
moonphase: waning gibbous

Thursday, August 30th 2007 e.v. an CIV

[Aug. 30th, 2007|07:21 pm]

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Current Location

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Date: Thursday, August 29, 2007 e.v. an CIV Temp: 75.1F
Sun: 7°11' Virgo
Moon: 11°15' Aries

Time: 6:55pm
Operation: reguli

State of mind Before:

nothing really all that special to say

State of mind During:

for some reason i neglected to gird myself with my sword. fortunately, it fell of a stable altar in a room with no air right after i gave the final curse in the banishing, so i was able to so girt myself before i did any invoking.

effing hilarious.

State of mind After:

good performance tonight.

Observations

nothing new to report

Conclusions:

this gets easier. the effect is becoming Marked.

notes:

sunrise: 6:44am
sunset: 7:55pm
moonphase: waning gibbous

Wednesday, August 29th 2007 e.v. an CIV

[Aug. 29th, 2007|07:06 pm]

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Current Location

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Date: Wednesday, August 29, 2007 e.v. an CIV Temp: 90.0F
Sun: 6°13' Virgo
Moon: 26°38' Pisces

Time: 6:35pm
Operation: reguli

State of mind Before:

if i’m thinking now of the reguli feeling as “correct motion” then i was feeling a bit of that before i began tonight. other than that... it’s just a normal day.

State of mind During:

silghtly distracted until the banishing. very good concentration tonight.

State of mind After:

the best phrase i can think f for the way reguli is acting on me know, distinct from the raw, individualistic power of the ra-hoor-kuit invocation, is “correct motion.”

Observations

concentration isn’t much of an issue these days with the new way i’ve been vibrating.

Conclusions:

try for spaces of silence tomorrow. see if you can keep Silent and stuff.

notes:

took the last couple of days off from magick.

sunrise: 6:43pm
sunset: 7:56pm
moonphase: full

Saturday, August 25th 2007 e.v. an CIV

[Aug. 25th, 2007|01:41 am]

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Current Location

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Date: Saturday, August 25, 2007 e.v. an CIV Temp: 85.1F
Sun: 1°40' Virgo
Moon: 20°36' Capricorn

notes:

I had a very interesting realization tonight. I was talking to zain last weekend, about triggers for certain kinds of uncontrolled emotions – or at least that’s one way of putting it. I’d been thinking about the basic triggers for these this week and I’ve tentatively identified abandonment and acceptance.

Last night I had an issue doing the invocation. A member was in the meeting room just before I went in, and the trigger was pulled in the form of Jealousy. I See that one now. I think I can conquer it

sunrise: 6:39am
sunset: 8:03pm
moonphase: waxing gibbous